There are many styles of communicating our needs, but perhaps the most effective way is to be assertive versus passive or aggressive. Let's take a look at these different styles and notice that with passive and aggressive styles there are some inherent problems that can, in time, create all sorts of problems

1. The passive style: This style of communication basically suggests that the other people's rights are important but yours are not. By denying yourrights you are giving yourself a subtle but damaging message: "I don't matter." After a while, you are likely to experience symptoms such as helplessness, resentment, repressed anger and depression.

2. The Aggressive Style: This style of communication is the opposite of the passive style. It suggests that your rights are important but other peopleÕs are not. This can be a very destructive approach, which can profoundly impair interpersonal communications and result in social isolation. Other symptoms associated with this style are guilt, frustration, suspiciousness and paranoia.

3. The Assertive style: This style of communication is the healthiest approach to interpersonal communication and can only enhance relationships. Here the message is, ÒI respect your rights, please respect mine.Ó Additional benefits of this approach include a greater sense of trust in the relationship, mutual respect and a sense of connectedness.